They say that necessity is the mother of invention, but more and more in the modern world it seems that the mother of invention is stupidity. Not everything that people invent is a genius idea, and many of these products should inspire shame rather than pride in their creators. Anyone who’s watched loads of infomercials at two in the morning knows this to be true. And though the products eventually fade away, relegated to some forgotten warehouse and the backs of the closets of the few gullible people that bought them, the memories of them survive via YouTube.
By searching through the archives of videos, one can often find the strangest and most useless of objects that people once thought would make them millions. These advertisements come complete with some of the worst acting known to man. No doubt the people hired also realized that the products there were promoting were completely idiotic. Either that or they were straining under the torturous thought that someday one of their friends might see them in said video.
YouTube keeps the dream alive, and it’s easy to find any number of not-so-genius inventions that came and went. Here are a few such examples.
The first is a rather strange little chair for lazy people on the go.
One sure sign that a product is crap is when they offer you a second one for “free” if you buy the first one. I don’t know if they do this to entice people into purchasing the product or if they’ve become so despondent by their garage being full of these things that they’re willing to do anything to get them out of sight.
The next product is for those who have… special needs. If you happen to have been born with abnormally short arms or a bizarrely placed anus, this may be just what you’re looking for.
Yes, a product truly motivated by people’s fear of dirty toilet paper. Considering how much I personally need to wipe to clean my own keister, having to use a device like this might take me all day.
Next we have a product that plays off of America’s need to consume the unhealthiest things in the world. Tired of those small cookies that are too easily eaten in one swift bite? Try a big-ass cookie!
It’s guaranteed to make you sick to your stomach after you consume the whole thing on a drunken dare. It does make feeding junk food to your family that much easier though, so everyone can share in the inevitable diabetes.
And finally, a top 10 of some of the worst crap ever sold.
Some of those are filled with so much wrong, I don’t even know how they managed to get past the television censors.
So remember, just because you happen to have an extra $50 sitting in your wallet, that does not mean you must spend it before it expires. Save your money and don’t buy useless crap. Or better yet, just avoid the mindless rubbish that infomercials provide altogether. If you found yourself looking at any of these things and thinking “Hey, I could use that!” then I ask that you please go rethink your life, for you have failed.