The Craigslist Files #196 - Complete Fails

The Craigslist Files #196 - Complete Fails

When people act first and think later

There are people all throughout the world that act before they think.  The Internet has done them the service of letting them announce their shortcomings to the entire world.  And, naturally, Craigslist acts like a magnet to these types of people.  When browsing the CL, I came across a few examples of these types of posts.  Enjoy the selection I have for you this week.

This has to be the biggest fail of them all.  When you’re advertising to find someone to work for you, you really need to make sure you come across as at least somewhat competent.  Proofread!  The goal in finding a smart person is not so that you have someone to pick up the slack for you because you are sub-par.  Then again, in this economy maybe even a smart person would consider answering the following post.

WE NEED A SMART PERSON

We need a smart or more person to help un with our Company. 

 

Next is a man who perhaps thinks that Craigslist is capable of providing everything.  More than likely he’s just some poor guy like the rest of us and figured advertising for free money was slightly more likely to yield productive results than buying lottery tickets.

Briefcase full of money

Hello, 
I'm looking for a briefcase full of hundred dollar bills. I'm willing to accept larger types of bags with smaller denominations as well. Willing to travel. In fact, I have a large pickup truck that could reasonably accomodate several large bags of any kind of cash. If you are in the position to help me out with this, please drop me a note (pun intended). 

 

I wish the next guy luck in his search.  After all, I’ve been trying for something similar for near 10 years now with no luck.  I am guessing that he probably should have lied a bit more about his own appearance.  I find that always helps (at least in securing that first date).

Supermodels only

What I'm looking for:
A beautiful young super model. Prefer wealthy to rich. Must be highly educated, prefer a phd but a masters will due with the right person. Must be obediant and willing to be spanked. A willingness to make sacrifices for me. Become a extension of myself. Super good looking. Be a artist. Model the latest lingerie for me between 9-10 pm nightly. Share your many model friends with me sexually. Brunettes only! NO Redheads, leave me alone! Must have a great sense of humor. Must like primitive wilderness camping and monster mud trucks. Must do drugs and drink ALOT! Prefer my women to buy only can beer by the 30 pack. Must have great weed connections. I don't want to deal with parents or sisters. No granny panty owners need apply.(please don't waste my time) Please be between 22-26 only.
About me:
Unemployed. Short and bald. Chubby and pale with small features.(hands feet ears) Dominating, picky and judgemental. Sometimes a little awkward around women. I am a sexually intense person that likes to receive pleasure for hours on end. I currently live downstairs of a older dominating woman so I would like to move in right away and share a bank account. You will have to drive or co-sign for me a new 580 horsepower Camareo.
Please put "SEXYSUPERMODEL" in the title so I can weed out the spam. 

 

And last but not least, someone trying to be helpful but, in the process, letting the world know about someone else’s epic fail.  Seriously, who lets their grandma’s ashes end up on the auction block?  Come to think of it, I’ve had more than a few relatives that I’d leave behind in a heartbeat. 

CREAMATED REMAINS FOUND IN STORAGE UNIT

I purchased a large lot of boxes at Bailyton Auction 3/15/2013 and discovered a small sealed box. It contains the remains of someones loved one. If you know someone who lost a storage unit with these remains in it please contact me and I will return them. Thank you!

 

I’ve nothing witty to say to wrap this up, as the day’s coffee is draining and I am losing all my super powers.  So until next week, have fun with life, try not to expect too much from Craigslist and make sure you remember to pack the ashes when you move.