Everyone has a bad day every now and again, and some are worse than others. But personally, when I have a bad day I don’t usually go out and advertise it on the Internet. Some people, however, are not that foresightful. While looking through the mire of chaos that is the Craigslist, I came across three such examples of people who may have wanted to think before they typed. Read, enjoy and realize that you really do have a much better time of it than some others do.
This first one is a good example of someone having a crappy day and not thinking things through. Maybe instead of posting an advert on Craigslist, this person should have thought about using whatever technology they used to communicate with the Internet to… I dunno, maybe call a friend for bloody help? Oh wait, he did and his friends are assholes that didn’t believe him. There are always emergency services, I suppose.
IN A WELL, NEED LADDER
I'm offering a reward for the first person who shows up with at least a 25 foot ladder to the well off of rt. 322 and Sugarsbridge Rd. My friends won't come because they think i'm joking. I'm definitely NOT... I have water but have not eaten in two days.
Reward is negotiable depending on how quickly you get here. And FYI to the kid that threw rocks down the well at me yesterday evening, I'm going to find you and do terrible thing to you.
This next guy looks like he could have found some sort of dream girl, although the circumstances of the moment may have spoiled it forever. I say, if you’ve shared a moment this intimate, than it was meant to be. It seems as if he feels the same way, because up went the advert on Craigslist. Hopefully the poor man’s penis is healing up nicely and the lady remembered to wipe.
penis caught in my zipper at el biet - m4w
i had just gone in for a normal pee, but the way you pounded, and pounded, and pounded on the door screaming "out! i have diarrhea! out! for the love of god come out, its coming out of my butt, pleeeeease!!!" got me so turned on that i got an erection. then, because your kicking started splintering the door, i quickly yanked up my zipper and caught my penis up in the process. i'm sorry again for the screaming as you pushed me down and sat down with the door hanging off it's hinges, but the look of sheer horror and embarrassment we shared in front of the staff and other patrons looking on before you ran out the back door and climbed over the fence has captured my heart. please describe what i was wearing so i know its you.
This one almost sounds like a strange reversal of the previous guy. At least both of them involve poop, anyways. Still, running from aliens is no laughing matter. Maybe she should think twice before announcing her location for the future, just in case the aliens are reading it. They probably have more likelihood of seeing the post than the guy napping behind the dumpster.
Dumpster lover - w4m
I was running from an alien and I jumped into an alley way dumpster to hide and you were there napping and I woke you up. We shared some something outta your flask and we laughed and talked about comets coming our way and grilled cheese. You called yourself Blump. But I had to go poop so I went to the gas station down the road and when I cam back you were gone. Just wanted to make sure the alien didn't track my scent and find you instead. Hope you are well. Meet me at the dumpster behind Mcdonalds tomorrow for lunch.
See? Things aren’t that bad for you. You probably don’t have penis scars or aliens chasing you and have not been forced to endure surviving in a well without food for multiple days. So remember that the next time you blow a tire or can’t manage to fill up your cereal bowl with the correct amount of milk. Don’t sweat the small stuff in life, because there’s always something way worse waiting for you around the corner, if for no other reason than to prove how wrong you are.