YouTube Nation - Indie Sci-fi Goodness

People do it because they can, and now we can watch it

As I’ve stated on numerous occasions already, one of the reasons I really love YouTube is because we, as viewers, get a chance to see some truly amazing things put together by people who might otherwise have no one to show them to.  With the proliferation of powerful software, the ability to make special effects happen is easier than ever, which means that we get better and better low-budget offerings.  Some of these are longer than others, but most of them are fairly short.  After all, even a homemade low-budget video project takes time and money.  I like to compare this phenomenon to the Kickstarter trend, although these people pay for the projects themselves and hope to make a little bit of cash from others watching the films.  Today, I’ve gathered up three science fiction videos that do a great job of making a lot from a little.  Enjoy.

The first is a short piece entitled How to Train Your Robot.  It probably should have been called How NOT to Train Your Robot, though you’ll only understand after you’ve seen it.  Regardless, it takes some basic digital effects and makes a cool short that is pretty entertaining.

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR ROBOT

Next up, a longer piece put together by creator Dan Gaud called Tonight I Strike.  This is another example of how a few low-budget special effects can be used to enhance what is essentially a group of actors on cheap sets.  The end result - a believable science fiction short that is worth the time it takes to watch (unlike many big-budget flicks these days).

TONIGHT I STRIKE

And finally, a short titled Dr. Easy.  This one definitely uses a much larger budget than the previous two.  Of course, these people are actually trying to use this to sell the idea of making a full length adaptation of the book that it’s based on, so they have to go the extra mile.  By far one of the best sci-fi mini-projects I’ve seen in a long time.  I really hope these guys get their wish.

Dr. Easy Short Film (HD) (English & French Subtitles)

Though they can sometimes be hard to track down, if you go fishing enough, you’ll come across others just as creative and well-done as these.  The search is often worth the wait, especially since they are free to watch.  And when you do watch, you’re helping the people that make these films to earn a few pennies and thus encouraging them to continue in their efforts.  Who know?  Maybe a great new director will emerge thanks to the video vault that is the YouTube.

Facebook Phenomenons - Cool-Ass Videos

Sometimes it’s worth the time to go hunting those video gems

While my Facebook feed often overwhelms me with all the rubbish that flies through it, cluttering the whole thing up, sometimes there are gems in the rubbish.  It actually pays to go through the hundreds of posts and read the titles of each one, for you will eventually stumble upon something that is awesome.  One thing that I enjoy is the fact that Facebook is a way for people to share great videos that they’ve found.  Of course, the definition of “great” leaves a lot of wiggle room.  Thus, you must spend the time to make that distinction for yourself.  Today, I’ve grabbed up four videos that I came across while wading in the mire of uselessness.  Enjoy.

Skyrim fans unite!  For this first video is an amazing look at someone forging a real, live orcish waraxe!  While the thing may not be practical for chopping vegetables or wood, it’s still one of the coolest looking weapons in the game.  Best of all, the guy who is doing this has a full series that he does called Man at Arms, in which he takes recommendations from his audience on what to forge next.  Check out the series to see such classics as Cloud’s sword from Final Fantasy and other awesome video game treats.

Orcish Battleaxe (Skyrim) - MAN AT ARMS

Next up, a video that came to me courtesy of GeekTyrant, a popular geek-centric news feed.  It’s one of those Supercut things (which I normally avoid like the plague), but it has Johnny Depp in it so it can’t be all bad, right?  I still insist that it could have gone on for another five minutes if the creator had looked hard enough.

Johnny Depp Making Weird Faces - Supercut

Next up, a Ninja Warrior video with a twist.  I’ve always been a fan of the show, though never really tuned into the American version.  Here we have the Las Vegas set of American Ninja Warrior and one ninja who decided to run the course, on camera, with no clothes on.  Of course, it is Vegas so it’s just as likely that the thing was staged, but check it out anyways for a quick laugh.

CRAZY NAKED GUY STREAKS AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR COURSE

And last but not least, Geeks are Sexy (yet another geek news site) provided me with this link to an 8-bit interpretation of the movie Anchorman.  Most of the movie isn’t present, of course, because it would be almost two hours long and nobody has that sort of patience.  But many of the best bits are still there.

Anchorman - 8 Bit Cinema!

And now, my dear readers, I must leave you, for the Facebook Phenomenons has come to a close.  I may return, I may not.  But in the meantime, keep your eyes on your social media, for you never know what gems await you if you manage to get past all the crap that inevitably clutters it up.

The Craigslist Files #198 - A Finale of Crazy

And the Craigslist Files comes to an end… at least for now

Well folks, it looks as if my stint here at the Craigslist Files is coming to an end.  Hopefully, I have managed to entertain during my stay here and giving people a few smiles.  I’ve certainly learned a lot about society from reading all the crazy crap that comes through that site, though I don’t know if I’m really any smarter for it.  But to every good thing there must be an end, and here is mine.  Today, I’ve gathered up a random assortment of five strange posts from Craigslist.  Check them out below and enjoy.

This first guy is just looking for something free.  I mean, you can’t sell a high-five, can you?  I’m pretty sure there’s little to no market value for such a thing.  But I guess if all you wanted was a sore hand, his offer might appear to you.  Or it might just be an easy way to get rid of some old, broken crap.

WTT High Fives for any Musical Instrument

Have some instruments (pianos, trumpets, guitars, hurdy-guydys) that you need to get rid of? I will take these off of your hands, and in return you will receive a solid High Five. I have been told that my high fives are top-notch, so this is a very good deal. I will take just about any bass, flute, mandolin, violin, tuba, what have you...I am not picky. So hit me up with an awesome email and let's strike a deal. Local deals only. No traveling to high-five you. Low Fives also, though they aren't as satisfying. 

 

Next up, a classy guy that wants to treat his lady right is looking to make the next fast-food date experience into something special.  At least it seems as if the wife is in on it, otherwise, I’d be worried that a divorce would end up replacing desert for the evening.

Waiter needed for roughly 2 hours

As kind of a fun change of pace, my wife and I want to have a fancy diner at a McDonalds. I need someone who is willing to be our waiter so that we can make this happen. 
We will show up for dinner wearing formal attire. You must provide your own formal attire for this gig. Slacks, dress shoes, and a button-down shirt and tie, or a dark cocktail dress and flats. I will provide you with the tablecloth, napkins, nice plates, and wine glasses. You need to get there before us and have the table set up and ready to go. You must greet us at the door and show us to our seats and hand us our menus (they have them up front). Once we order, just go up to the counter and buy the food from the employees (but wait a while so it seems like they are making our food). But don't forget to keep filling up our drinks! 
When we are finished, bring us the food receipt and I will pay you for the food, plus $50 for your services, plus tip. The whole thing shouldn't take longer than a couple hours including setup and cleanup. Please be as professional as possible.

 

Third on the list, yet another person posting his marital grievances openly on Craigslist.  This seems to be a popular method of self-therapy ever since the Internet came into power.  Though this certainly won’t help the guy up if his ex turns up missing in the near future…

To my cockroach ex-wife

Dear Whore of Lucifer: 
I have recently enrolled in a 12-step program for people whose lives were decimated and finances ruined by lawyer bills when their spouses filed for divorce after finding someone else to fuck and run off with. I am currently up to Step 8: Willingness to Make Amends. As such, I apologize for the following recent transgressions: 
Told the drunk at the bar who wanted a Red-Headed Slut that he's more than welcome to you if that general contractor douchebag is done with you. 
Annoyed the staff at several hospitals by calling to see if they had any fresh organ donors on hand with a heart suitable to replace your cold, dead one. 
Demanded a refund from Southwest Airlines because I tried to get you on one of their planes but they refused to let my bag fly free as advertised in their TV commercials. 
Scrawled your cell number in the stall of the john of the bar at the American Legion post down the street with an offer of free prostate exams for all veterans 65 and older. 
Told my neighborhood U.S. Marine Corps recruiter that I knew the exact location of the dank, hopeless cave Osama Bin Laden was hiding in and provided the GPS coordinates to your pants. 
Lit several offering candles at your church with prayers that karma would hurry its ass up and come around to you while I was still alive to see it. 
For these things, my dear handmaiden of Satan, I make my amends. I'd still love to see your head squeezed in a vice until your eyeballs squirt out of their sockets, but I have to go along with the program. 

 

Fourth up, a strange request that is, if the title is to be believed, “not a joke”.  I have to say though, as far as unique party gags go, this guy definitely tops the list.  Lets just hope that the ducks in question don’t turn violent or, worse yet, decide that their little dollar-bill hats look tasty enough to eat.

Need to borrow/rent live ducks (not a joke)

Hosting a house party. Need ducks for party game.
Ducks will be unharmed and I prefer the owner remain with the ducks to ensure proper care and safety to both my and your standards.
Compensation: invitation to party, free drinks for the entire night, or if you prefer small cash fee ($40?)
Details: ducks will be gently secured into passenger seats of model train set. origami hats made of 1, 5 and 10 dollar bills will be placed on each ducks head.
Guests will pay a dollar for an opportunity pick a hat from a ducks head as a prize as the train passes by them. One dollar per attempt (lap around tracks)
Serious inquiries only please.

 

And finally, a poor pet in need of a home.  Given its supposed levels of stupidity, however, I have to wonder if the poor creature will live long enough to find a new owner.

FOUND: Adorable, stupid cat. Please save him from himself.

We found this guy in our back yard on 12/17, yowling in the rain, even though we have an awning under which he could have been staying dry. We decided to feed and water him, and put him in our cellar overnight. When I went to check on him this morning, his ass was sticking out of the ceiling. He had thoroughly wedged himself between the beams and gotten himself stuck. (I guess he was trying to be Basment Cat and Ceiling Cat at the same time.) I rescued him (again) and brought him inside, where I gave him a bath (narrowly escaping with my life). He is now asleep on my bed. Alas, I cannot keep him, because we already have four cats of our own.

Who needs a kitten? Kittens are cute, but this older model (approximately 2 or 3 years old) comes with all these great features:

Medium-length, silky black coat, freshly shampooed

Huge, soulful golden eyes that stare STRAIGHT INTO YOUR SOUL

Speaks all 37 dialects of Felinese, and can sing (I think he's a tenor)

Quality, deep rumbling purr when contented

Litter box trained.

Two impressive testicles**

Endearing stupidity.

 

So, now that you no longer have me to act as middle man, you must all go search Craigslist yourself for amusing posts.  Do not worry, however, as they are quite abundant.  And if you can’t find any that you like, you can always make up one of your own.  All crazy is welcome over there, so don’t be shy.

YouTube Nation - Celebrities are People Too

The Internet is the key to letting you see your favorites as they fail

Celebrities are fun, in more than one way.  While they are, obviously, entertaining within whatever field of art they happen to frequent, they can also be fun for other reasons.  Sometimes they troll other people, sometimes they get trolled and sometimes they get caught off guard.  But whatever their failing, they are proven at last to be human.  Luckily, video has been invented so we can capture these “human” moments on camera.  And since the YouTube was invented, we can share these moments with the rest of the world.  Together, we create a better place for us average folks.  Check out the following videos to make your day brighter.

First and foremost, the esteemed author of the Game of Thrones series.  If you’re a fan of the television series, you may have been one of those freaked out by the recent ‘Red Wedding’ episode.   Here, we get a glimpse into the mind of Martin, courtesy of Conan O’Brian, as he revels in the destruction he has wrought.

George R. R. Martin Watches "Red Wedding" Reaction Videos - CONAN on TBS

As everyone knows, celebrities are crazy as hell.  There is a certain amount of joy in catching this crazy before they manage to recover their star persona.  Here is a nice collection celebrating some of the random-ass crap that comes out of celebrity mouths at times.

The Best Awkward Celebrity Interviews

Sometimes, we just need some reassurance that celebrities are humans also and not some alien entity come down to show us how inferior we all are.  And what better way than to see them screwing up badly?  There’s no shortage of celebrity screw-ups on YouTube and here’s a nice 10-minute collection.  Warning!  Definitely NSFW unless you watch with zero volume (which kinda defeats the purpose).  On a side note, Tom Cruise is probably the most polite angry person I have ever seen in my entire life.  Kudos to him.

Famous Celebrities Flipping Out!!!

And finally, some celebrities trolling each other.  It’s been a while since the movie Superbad opened in theaters, but this interview is still a classic.  Though the whole thing was obviously staged, it’ still worth a watch.

Superbad-Interview GONE WRONG!

So if you ever want to see those people you love and admire looking like idiots and douche bags, check out the YouTubes.  It’s all over the place there and the archives just keep growing and growing.  Until next week, please remember that you are only human and that famous people are much better than you.

Facebook Phenomenons - Momentary Wisdom

When that certain thing pops up at that certain time

In the real world, sometimes, you’ll be a crappy mood for whatever reason and then you meet that random person.  They’re either hanging out on the street, or they happen to be your barista for the day or perhaps they’re even the overly chatty bus driver that usually annoys the living crap out of you.  But for some reason, they’re extra-wise this day.  They have something to say that hits you in the feels and just happens to be the right thing at the right time to turn you around.  Facebook, I insist, is like this random therapy, except it happens all day long.

Whether it be words of wisdom, something that helps you put two and two together or the completion of a thought that you’ve been dwelling on for days, the random words can often switch things up.  Because Facebook is all day, every day, it’s filled with people who want to appear witty, wise, touching or otherwise.  And sometimes they even manage to get it right.  Hell, I’m sure you have more than a few friends on your feed that love to spam out words of wisdom, right?  And while this is generally annoying, sometimes they do indeed get it right.  Here’s a few instances that hit me this week, making me feel like I was loved by some strange, unknown entity who understood my feelings.  Or at least they made me crack a bit of a smile…

My first entry is one of those damn e-cards.  Though mostly rubbish, once in about every 1000 of these you see something that applies to you.  I’m guessing that’s sort of the strategy of making them appealing, actually.  This one in particular makes sense to me, and probably to most people, in general.

The next entry applies to me directly, since I live in the Pacific NW.  Seriously, I came up here to escape the blasted sun, and it still insists on showing up every few days during summer?  Where do I need to go to keep below 75 degrees, Antarctica?

And finally, the truth is out of George R.R. Martin.  Many of you may be Game of Thrones fans, and even those of you that don’t read the books can, after the ‘Red Wedding’ episode, relate to what the rest of us have been thinking for over a decade now.

So when you need some confirmation that your thoughts are not all rubbish, turn to the Facebook.  Someone in your feed will eventually provide something of value, despite weeks of spamming you crap.  And on that day, you shall be grateful.

The Craigslist Files #197 - More Useless Crap

Because for some reason you just can’t bring yourself to throw it away

At this point, I have become convinced that Craigslist truly is the last bastion of discarding useless junk.  For some reason, people have a problem with throwing things into the garbage, perhaps thinking that maybe, just maybe, there’s someone out there that can use what they have to offer.  After petitioning friends and spamming Facebook and realizing that no one wants their goods, these people inevitably turn to Craigslist to solve their problem.  The result?  A “free” section that reads like an inventory list of a landfill.  Check out the latest entries into this horrible world.

First and foremost, a typewriter.  The poster obviously thinks much the same way that I do about these strange antiques.  Do people really continue to use these things?  I mean, the last time I tried to use a typewriter I couldn’t even find the delete key, let alone the copy/paste function.  Who designed these things anyways?  Still, this guy really tries to sell it.

Get the Big, Black Typewriter You've Been Craving

I know what you're thinking, "My God, what wonderful thing have I done to deserve such luck?" Well, you must've been a good boy or girl because I have, at this very moment, a Big, Black Typewriter. And I'm willing to let you steal it away from me at the best of all prices:FREE. 
The Big, Black Typewriter in question is a purebred, 100% genuine IBM Correcting Selectric II, featuring a large black case, Qwerty keyboard, and light protective coating of dust. Also included is an electrical cord (presumably for plugging into a wall outlet.) The typewriter is in nearly pristine condition (because, seriously, who uses a typewriter?) As a bonus, I'll throw in the fact that I have no idea if it works, which means that you, yes you, can have the heady feeling of anticipation: will it or won't it turn on? Be the one to make the exciting discovery! 
Own this icon of archaic technology now for three easy payments of nothing, never. Simply stop by our office at… to claim your new (used) Big, Black Typewriter. This is a limited time offer, so hurry down. The typewriter will be distributed on a first-come, first-takes basis; and don't call to ask me to hold it for you. If I wanted you to call, I'd've given you my number. 
Good luck! 

 

Next up, a rock.  Yes, a damn rock.  If you’re landscaping and don’t mind going out of your way to get a rock to really put the perfect highlight on your creation, you may just be in luck.  Otherwise, this guy is still sitting on this rock (well, maybe not literally…).

Free landscaping or garden rock

Large landscaping rock. This rock is approximately 3ft by 3ft by 2ft. It's very heavy. We are not able to move or deliver this rock but its free. Please call for address 

 

The third entry is bizarre as hell.  I’m not even quite sure what a “weave” is… is that like a wig?  Well, whatever the proper definition of the product, this guy has one that is readily available for any takers.  In other words, this guy broke down and threw this in the garbage at some point.

Free Weave (purple comb included)

This alluring weave can be found hanging on a bush on…
Not really sure how it could have gotten here but some of our guesses are that the previous owner:
1. wanted to go back to her natural hair length 
2. was drunk and got a little too rough with her comb
3. got into a fight and lost
Or quite possibly, she might want someone else to have long luxurious hair just like she once did and work it.
Will it be you?
Get it girl.

 

And finally, a… uh, “plow” light.  This master of run-on sentences is trying to get rid of some sort of lighting device.  Is this a light for a plow, like a piece of farm equipment?  Or am I just not up on the hip-kids’ slang these days?  Either way, the following individual really needs to think more about the way he advertises.  I wouldn’t go near this guy’s house with a shotgun and Arnold Schwarzenegger as backup…

sexy plow light

I have a 21 year old plow light it blows your fuse every time you plug it in , it's still and nice plow light it spins sometimes I usually have to punch it that's why it looks rough I didn't like how slow it spun so I added a sticker now it won't go at all but the light still works if u spin it by hand I'm thinkin you guy would be like junk but here's the nice part if u put this on ur roof and turn it on you can drink ..you got that its 21 years old call the police and ask its a certified manual plow light that works if you punch it , I would trade for another plow light I collect them so that's why I really appreciate you readin this add .i mean now a days people list there stuff as so great I'm just a honest 20 year old transvestite that likes guys just sayin so u dont laugh when you get here. Thank you all have a great nite don't drink without ur plow light.

 

So if you ever have anything that you seriously need to get rid of but are not willing to do what most sane people do and just throw the damn thing away, go ahead and check out Craigslist.  No one will take what you have to offer, but you might as well put the time and effort into creating an amusing post so that others can have a laugh at your expense.  Until next week, try not to lose your weave.

The Craigslist Files #196 - Complete Fails

When people act first and think later

There are people all throughout the world that act before they think.  The Internet has done them the service of letting them announce their shortcomings to the entire world.  And, naturally, Craigslist acts like a magnet to these types of people.  When browsing the CL, I came across a few examples of these types of posts.  Enjoy the selection I have for you this week.

This has to be the biggest fail of them all.  When you’re advertising to find someone to work for you, you really need to make sure you come across as at least somewhat competent.  Proofread!  The goal in finding a smart person is not so that you have someone to pick up the slack for you because you are sub-par.  Then again, in this economy maybe even a smart person would consider answering the following post.

WE NEED A SMART PERSON

We need a smart or more person to help un with our Company. 

 

Next is a man who perhaps thinks that Craigslist is capable of providing everything.  More than likely he’s just some poor guy like the rest of us and figured advertising for free money was slightly more likely to yield productive results than buying lottery tickets.

Briefcase full of money

Hello, 
I'm looking for a briefcase full of hundred dollar bills. I'm willing to accept larger types of bags with smaller denominations as well. Willing to travel. In fact, I have a large pickup truck that could reasonably accomodate several large bags of any kind of cash. If you are in the position to help me out with this, please drop me a note (pun intended). 

 

I wish the next guy luck in his search.  After all, I’ve been trying for something similar for near 10 years now with no luck.  I am guessing that he probably should have lied a bit more about his own appearance.  I find that always helps (at least in securing that first date).

Supermodels only

What I'm looking for:
A beautiful young super model. Prefer wealthy to rich. Must be highly educated, prefer a phd but a masters will due with the right person. Must be obediant and willing to be spanked. A willingness to make sacrifices for me. Become a extension of myself. Super good looking. Be a artist. Model the latest lingerie for me between 9-10 pm nightly. Share your many model friends with me sexually. Brunettes only! NO Redheads, leave me alone! Must have a great sense of humor. Must like primitive wilderness camping and monster mud trucks. Must do drugs and drink ALOT! Prefer my women to buy only can beer by the 30 pack. Must have great weed connections. I don't want to deal with parents or sisters. No granny panty owners need apply.(please don't waste my time) Please be between 22-26 only.
About me:
Unemployed. Short and bald. Chubby and pale with small features.(hands feet ears) Dominating, picky and judgemental. Sometimes a little awkward around women. I am a sexually intense person that likes to receive pleasure for hours on end. I currently live downstairs of a older dominating woman so I would like to move in right away and share a bank account. You will have to drive or co-sign for me a new 580 horsepower Camareo.
Please put "SEXYSUPERMODEL" in the title so I can weed out the spam. 

 

And last but not least, someone trying to be helpful but, in the process, letting the world know about someone else’s epic fail.  Seriously, who lets their grandma’s ashes end up on the auction block?  Come to think of it, I’ve had more than a few relatives that I’d leave behind in a heartbeat. 

CREAMATED REMAINS FOUND IN STORAGE UNIT

I purchased a large lot of boxes at Bailyton Auction 3/15/2013 and discovered a small sealed box. It contains the remains of someones loved one. If you know someone who lost a storage unit with these remains in it please contact me and I will return them. Thank you!

 

I’ve nothing witty to say to wrap this up, as the day’s coffee is draining and I am losing all my super powers.  So until next week, have fun with life, try not to expect too much from Craigslist and make sure you remember to pack the ashes when you move.

The Craigslist Files #195 - Anonymous Anger

And now, some angry people yelling at other people though the Internet

When you need to voice your anger, it’s not always good to do so in the middle of a public place.  I mean, you’ll probably get arrested if you scream too loudly and cause a big scene.  So what are you supposed to do, just bottle it up and let your anger silently rage inside of you? 

Luckily, this is one area where the Internet comes in handy and Craigslist seems almost tailor-made to handle.  When you have the need to throw things and shout at the top of your lungs, you can instead just type out your frustrations and then post them anonymously.  If someone reads them, then you are justified in your actions.  If the person you’re pissed at happens to read them (unlikely though it may be), then bonus.  Today, I’ve collected three great raves from the bitter line-up that is the Craigslist crowd.  Enjoy.

The first man apparently had a bad day at the library.  It’s true though, his underlying message - the most obnoxious of people always seem to end up at places where they accepted the least.  Anyone who’s ever rode the bus knows this to be fact.  It’s especially fun listening to people rave at the top of their lungs about how many times they’ve been to jail for meth.  But anyways, I digress into my own anger.  Check out this guy’s instead.

Loud (and Hot) Library Spectacle - m4w

You were at the library today at about 12:30. I really like how you had your ipod so loud that people across the room could hear it. Deaf girls really appeal to me, and you'll doubtlessly be one, some day. 
You were listening to banal hip-hop--I could make out some of the lyrics. You went and sat by people who were silently reading, and I think your total disregard for their peace was hot. 
When you answered your phone to talk inarticulately to your friend about your embarrassing (although you didn't seem embarrassed, and I like that) drinking binge, I knew I had to try and contact you through this site. 
Anyway, I hope you get this. I really like how socially inept and oblivious to other people you are. Hopefully we can meet up and go somewhere and be unwittingly obnoxious together. 

 

The next post is something that most of us can relate to at one time or another.  True, there are those out there that have such bad grammar as to make nails on a chalkboard seem preferable to reading what they have to say, but to become a grammar troll is perhaps one of the only things worse than not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re”.  If you’re (your?) one of those people, you know who you are and you need to cut it out.  Let those of us who haven’t had our coffee yet make the occasional mistake and keep your trap shut.

Grammar Patrol

I've been lurking for a while, but recently I've been too overcome by passion to remain in the shadows. Every time you post a correction to a previous post I get an enormous girl-boner. It's such a turn-on when you scour public listings looking for mistakes. Damn...is there anything hotter than pointing out the flaws of others? 
I don't know your exact identity, but I've seen clues all over town. Like the little correction marks on bathroom stalls. I'll admit that I've overstayed my welcome in said bathroom stalls. Those little circles and hatch marks got me so excited that I just sat there and fingered myself while other patrons pounded the door. You're right. That IS the wrong "your". Mmmmmmm....Bliss. 
Sometime I want to meet you in person. I'll bring my red pen and we can print out Missed Connections and giggle about how fucking stupid everyone is. Then maybe later we can circle the freckles and blemishes on our bodies. The mistakes that make us ugly. Make sure you get that big birthmark on my waist. If that was an English paper, I would never even pass Comp. 1. And the scar on my wrist is the equivalent of using a preposition at the end of a sentence. Fucking gross. I know you can fix me. Do they make White-Out in flesh tones? 
You and I both know that proper grammar is the most important factor in someone's attractiveness, and with a little work I know we can go together like Robert Frost and a high school reading response. Baby, we were meant for each other. 
Please thoroughly correct this post and send it back to me so I know it's really you. 

 

The final entry is a preemptive attack to ward off one of the worst phenomenons that we here in the Pacific NW have to deal with - the hipster.  These folks are a strange lot and some are truly intolerable.  To avoid having one move in next to you is almost as satisfying and throwing one off of your balcony.  Almost.

Dear Future Hipster Neighbor

Dear Future late 20/early 30 Hipster Neighbor from the Mid-west/South/Idaho: 
I know you are the coolest kid in Iowa/Ohio/Idaho/Texas/Florida/etc but... 
While scanning CL for a cool vintage apartment near Hawthorne or Alberta, a sweet barista job and a new fixie to ride around on once you arrive, please reconsider your decision, and please do not move here. 
There aren’t any jobs for the people who already live here. Word on the street is that your Stumptown barista job won’t last once people find out you are a 30-something college graduate from Ohio. 
I heard the eastside is going to break off from the Willamette River and will soon become part of the Couve (aka you will live in something similar to where you currently live, but rainier)…. 
Plus, living in the Pearl or NW is too expensive for your $9/hour barista job. And no cool hipsters live on the SW Side. 
Regards, 
Your previous future neighbor 

 

So when real life gets you down and you need somewhere to vent, check out Craigslist.  Who knows?  It may even help lower those stress levels.  And if not, you might just make the “Best of…” list and others will be able to laugh a little.  At the very least, it may keep you from punching the first clown you see.

YouTube Nation - Fans Making Dreams

When people can’t have the movie they want, they create something of their own.

There are so many movies coming out these days, but rarely do they seem to live up to our expectations of what is quality entertainment.  With so many sources to pull from - video games, comic books, novels and television shows - it would seem that there would be plenty of great flicks each month, right?  But Hollywood relies way too much on the special effects and brand names without putting any real content behind what they produce. 

Sometimes, devoted fans see this and decide to make their own versions of films, or at least a trailer or two.  On the YouTube these are distributed so that we may all enjoy and wonder about what if things were better in the film world and we could actually get to see films like these. Today, I’ve pulled together a few of the better fan-made movie trailers that I could find.  Check them out and see if you don’t agree that these fans have more insight than most Hollywood producers.

The first trailer belongs to a movie rendition of the video game Bioshock Infinite.  This game is widely considered to be one of the best on the market right now and it would be amazing to bring it to film so that even non-gamers could enjoy the complex story and great characters.  Until that happens, however, fans must dream.  Here is one trailer made for Bioshock Infinite that really shines.  It’s a crazy-eclectic grab of shots from a ton of different flicks.  See if you can recognize them all.

(Fake) Bioshock Infinite movie trailer

Next, a look at a property that has been on the market for years now - Thundercats.  This classic of childhood Saturday morning cartoon fun has been kicked around in Hollywood forever, though no one seems to be able to figure out a way to do it right.  I think the following fan has really hit the nail on the head.  It is, by far, one of the best fan-made trailers I’ve ever seen, especially if you’re a Thundercats fan.  Hell, I’d even keep the casting the same.

Thundercats Movie trailer (fan made)

And finally, a trailer from a movie that already has a trailer - World War Z.  If you’ve read the book and seen the official trailer, you know that you’re likely to be very disappointed when this thing releases.  The following trailer - made before the actual trailer aired - looks to be a little more accurate, ironically enough.  Maybe they should have contacted this guy about the film instead of letting it degenerate into the piece of crap that it’s shaping up to be?

World War Z 2012 Fan-Made Trailer

So there you have it, the works of fans trump the ideas of Hollywood damn near every time.  Hopefully, someone out there with some money will get wise to this and start tapping YouTube as a potential talent source.  And maybe, just maybe, we’ll see a change in the trend of mediocre films and start witnessing a revolution that ends with movie theaters having a decent selection of flicks to offer us for our $12.

YouTube Nation - Random Selection of Funny and Cool Stuff

Taking a break from making a point - just watch this stuff and be happy, dammit!

I like YouTube way too much.  I mean waaaaayy too much.  I spend hours on the damn site every day, watching playthroughs of all the video games that my wonky computer is too inept to be able to play without horrible lag-and-crash syndrome.  Due to the fact that I already spend so much time there, I have come to rely on it as a source of pretty much everything.  If I want something to make me laugh, want to listen to music, want to watch people playing video games or want to do anything that involves visual or audio stimulation, I tend toward YouTube as my first line of attack.  When you live life this way, you end up finding some cool stuff.  I’ve gathered some of my finds here for you to enjoy.  If you don’t like them, go look for something else already and don’t troll me.

The first video is an “educational” look at the magical effects of water on human beauty.  If only I’d known this in my teenage years, I would have spent plenty more time at the pool, that’s for damn sure.  Try to make it all the way to the end of the video - the pay-off is well worth it (especially if you’re a Firefly fan).

Sexy Pool Party

The following video celebrates the fact that May 4th is, for some weird-ass reason, Star Wars day.  Courtesy of one of my favorite YouTube channels, Geek & Sundry, comes a not-so-in-depth look at the production of a fan film dedicated to Lucas’s famous franchise.  Needless to say, it doesn’t look like it will be winning awards any time soon.

The Most Epic Star Wars Fan Film Of All Time - Presented by Geek & Sundry

Okay, so the next one is a bit of WTF and I seriously don’t know how I even ended up finding this.  At first I thought that someone might be trolling, but it appears to be a genuine sporting event.  Yes, it’s combat juggling and people play it competitively.  They even play the damn thing on EPSN.  It certainly looks crazy enough to require high levels of skill.  I can’t even keep two pins up in the air, let along smack other dudes across the face while juggling three.

JvyBX3dfUoc#!

And finally, this, just because it’s awesome.  An hour of some old school video game music.  Feel free to play on repeat as you go about your daily tasks.  Gods know that I do.

1 hr of video game music

Yes, it’s so shiny out there in YouTube land.  I often forget myself and become lost for hours.  But when you come up with gems like these, it makes it all worth while.  Who cares if I forgot to go to work today?  Hell, it’s not like my job won’t be there tomorrow when I’ve run out of things I want to watch online (or at least for the moment…).

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