Peter Weir's 1998 drama/comedy The Truman Show only made sense because it was made before Youtube existed. Just like Ron Howard's Edtv failed to capture the shamelessness of reality TV stars by suggesting that anyone who would let cameras follow them around 24/7 would spontaneously acquire enough dignity to want it all to stop, The Truman Show tried to press our humanity buttons by assuming a man would react with terror to his every mundanity being recorded. Today we know that the inverse is true, that people in our media-saturated society love being on camera, even if it's during their most banal moments. This is the root of the compulsive vlogging phenomenon, the prevalence of individuals on Youtube who record a new video of themselves as frequently as on a daily basis. They quickly run out of interesting things to say, so they resort to displaying and describing their everyday lives. Whether with sympathy or mockery, people find this fascinating enough to follow these Youtubers with more regularity than the national news. But inevitably, real life comes crashing through. No vlog lasts forever because everyone has a breaking point. For prolific Youtuber and previous YN entry Spricket24, the breaking point was a moment of true vulnerability.

Earlier this week, Spricket24 uploaded a video of herself taking a pregnancy test. Unlike the re-upped, sped-up version above, it was a 9-minute window into the real life of an Internet character. S24 spent years cultivating her Youtube personality as a plucky mom with a love of her fans and a willingness to do stupid human tricks for the amusement of others. Now the original "How To Take A Pregnancy Test" video has been made private and it has more or less disappeared from the Internet, at least for now. This is a shame because, once again, it's something that does exactly what the Internet and Youtube are supposed to do. It's a chunk of reality, not quite raw thanks to some sound editing and 4th wall breaking, but reality nonetheless. I can understand why Spricket24 would regret uploading it but it's honestly one of the most compelling Youtube videos I've ever seen.

The video starts out plainly enough. S24 sits in her bathroom and sets the scene for us, showing us the home pregnancy test kit she just purchased and describing, somewhat sheepishly, how the thing works. As she begins to explain how she missed her period and felt it was time to take the test, her composure starts to get understandably shaky. When she actually takes the necessary steps to using the kit she mutes the camera and keeps things tasteful, nervous laughter punctuating the otherwise quiet moments. We get to see a human reaction in real time as the kit comes back with the answer that, yes, she is indeed pregnant. The last two minutes of the video consist of Spricket24 rambling a bit, rationalizing the way people do, then ending with a nearly imperceptible display of genuine fear and concern. That little "I dunno what I'm gonna do" that sneaks out between the motor-mouthed audience interactions may just be my favorite moment on Youtube ever. It's real. Even if this whole thing was staged it still captured something affecting and human.

Though it's usually expressed in inane vlog posts, Youtube has the ability to introduce us to one another with more intimacy and common beauty than any other technology on Earth. It isn't stylized or well-funded, so some truth can sneak in every now and then. Sadly, this access to truth seems to scare Youtubers as often as it appeals to them. Just like we only ever take pictures of our family and friends when they're happy or obligated, Youtubers rarely vlog their real lives. There's always a show, always a gimmick, always a conceit. Spricket24's "How To Take A Pregnancy Test" is no different, except that her usual angle, he usual online personality, cracks just enough to let a woman named Karen shine through.