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Recently a candid video featuring an epic public freak-out has been making the rounds on the ever-increasing circuit of amateur video sites. It didn't premiere on Youtube, exactly. "I WANT MY CHICKEN!" was more of a simul-cast on multiple sites, Youtube among them. When gems like this video are floating around, it would be a shame for me to ignore all non-Youtube sources, so I've decided not to be a purist. I'll never be able to resist videos like this one, not because they capture a human being achieving some kind of aristeia of ugliness, but because there are so many wonderful details one misses upon first viewing. If one of the great cinema directors were asked to replicate this scene, he or she would spend weeks fiddling with the storyboards.

First, let's lay some foundation. The main premise of "I WANT MY CHICKEN!" is that a man of remarkable girth has been pushed beyond the edge of reason at his local McDonald's restaurant for some unknown reason. It has something to do with a chicken sandwich, but that's about all one could gather from his tirade.

The video, in all its cellphone-level grain, opens with what appears to be a store manager trying to explain something to the green giant before him. Was he speaking calmly? Was he being firm but fair? There's no way to tell. What I can gather is that this situation had the makings of a conflict long before anyone started shouting. Observe how the crowded restaurant has given Big Green and the manager plenty of space, a clear sign even in nature that fury is in the air and some nasty business is about to go down.

In fact, that's what this video is like the whole way through. It's like watching an animal attempt to assert dominance over others. I would compare Big Green to a raging chimp, but I have far too much respect for humanity's closest genetic cousins. Observe as Big Green adopts a chest-forward pose at the 10-second mark, how in pacing he creates a wide threat-bubble and signals to other patrons that he is aware of his surroundings so as to not be pounced upon.

My personal favorite moment comes at around 30 seconds in. Big Green walks away from the camera, giving us a glimpse into the most descriptive image in the entire video. We can see the tiny glint of where Big Green has been forced by circumstance to attach a second belt to his pants and in the exact same moment he stands like a mountain of hate next to an innocent little boy, a fitting symbol of the end of goodness.

"I WANT MY CHICKEN!" is indeed a work of art, but it is also a unique moment captured on video. While I enjoy the fact that it depicts a morbidly obese man screaming for food in a McDonald's that, if I am not mistaken, is situated in a Wal-Mart, it also captures a fragment of memory that will very likely remain a potent trauma in the lives of all the under-10 patrons of the restaurant. If I were that blonde toddler standing mere feet from this volcano of anger and profanity, I would forever remember that moment as the beginning of my disillusionment about the human race.