I wholeheartedly look forward to life on the Internet in approximately 10-15 years. By then, an entire generation of people who have spent their entire lives online will have finally become adults and it's possible that their maturation will make this virtual space a bit more respectable. For now, an overwhelming percentage of the people in these truck-bearing tubes aren't even old enough to drink, so a disproportionate amount of Web content sounds like high school cafeteria. Included in this terrible infantilization of our time's most influential technology are fundamentally interesting sites like Everybody Dreams. I have to admit, I find the premise of this project genuinely intriguing, but I'm naturally disappointed by the results.

The idea behind Everybody Dreams is simple. It's a no-frills Internet database of what a variety of anonymous contributors experience while sleeping, a small-serving peek into the bizarre but usually entertaining world of the human subconscious. At its best, this website could serve as a compendium of surreal humor and equalizing expressions of fear, anxiety and longing.

But this is the Internet, so a significant portion of Everybody Dreams consists of bored, privileged teenagers pretending their vapid psyches are at all interesting. Observe, the power of the pubescent mind:

I walk back into the petrol station shop, THEN GUESS WHO I EFFING SAW. SHIT! I SAW THE TWILIGHT TEAM! ROBERT PATTINSON!

And it goes on like this for quite a long time. Sure, there's nothing particularly remarkable about a teenage girl having a dream about the latest fad, but that's not what bothers me here. Imagine, if you will, that you are a reasonably successful Brit in your middle years. You have a nice home, a decent job, a loving spouse and healthy, happy children for whom you have high hopes and lofty wishes. Now imagine your daughter, the light of your life, the girl who has every opportunity to do great things in this world, has a dream of her most recent cultural obsession. She decides, of all things, to hop on the Internet and publish this dream for all the world to see, using embarrassing writing habits and none-too-ladylike language. And now, your lovely daughter, light of your life, is being mocked by some American jerk for being just another in a mass of insufferable teens clogging our world with screams of delight over a horrible movie.

But Everybody Dreams isn't all ridiculous. On occasion it actually does deliver the weirdness and unique content one would expect from a dream-recording website. Though most of the entries are long, boring accounts of dreams that probably aren't even interesting to the people who had them, there are a few wonderful lines you wouldn't ever find elsewhere. For example:

• I had a dream that I had sex with King Kong.
• My weirdest dream involved me being adopted by a Chinese family who had a pet cigar-smoking crocodile. All was well until a swarm of bugs engulfed the earth.
• In my dreams, everyone I know is made of knives.

By far my favorite entries are the extremely creepy dreams that the authors don't seem to realize are freaky and unsettling. Not surprising is that many of these also come from teenagers, who we all know are little sociopaths full of intensity and a very wrong worldview. Want proof?

I had a dream that the boy I liked came over my house and then we had a sleepover, and we make cake and went to sleep. We played in the sky, and in the ocean, and in the mountains. It was fun, it was fun. And then we fell asleep in the crevaces of a valley. We had to cuddle because the matress was so small. And we slept forever. Forever together

For a more complete, shudder-inducing experience, imagine the above paragraph being said by a teary-eyed girl furiously scratching hearts into her notebook with a certainty usually reserved for religious zealots. Oh, and sweet dreams, everybody!