
Though I may frequently seem blunt or even crude, the truth is that being a humorist is delicate work. Making fun of the stupid, the insane or the otherwise absurd has inherent dangers, not the least of which is a breach of my admittedly few ethical responsibilities. So, when Peaceful Pill came across my proverbial desk, I found myself at an almost instant impasse. Suicide is no laughing matter and though I am a generally unscrupulous person, I still wouldn't go so far as to make light of such an incomprehensible tragedy. So, I want to make it clear from the outset that I'm not mocking terminally ill people when I set my sights on Peaceful Pill. Rather, I'm mocking the dangerous ghouls who are attempting to profit from what is essentially Suicide For Dummies.
Peaceful Pill is the brainchild of Dr. Philip Nitschke, an Australian physician who has made it a personal crusade to legalize self-euthanasia in his country. That in itself isn't all that bad. Hell, when the ballot came up in my state to let terminally ill people go out on their own terms with professional assistance, I voted Yes.
But Nitschke's effort isn't like that at all. Peaceful Pill isn't about the ethical methodology of properly informing patients of their options, then providing them with clean, reputable care while minimizing harm. Peaceful Pill includes such morbid gems as a guide to purchasing a powerful poison from Mexico (that great bastion of medical ethics) and an epic work of pitch-black comedy that is a grandmotherly woman named Betty teaching all of us viewers at home how to make our very own suffocation bags from common, inexpensive items.
The "how to kill yourself" videos start with a disclaimer that children and people suffering from depression shouldn't watch them. Yes, because people on the Internet always do what they're told, just like all those porn site disclaimers have been protecting minors from adult material for 15 years now.
By far my favorite part of Nitschke's borderline-gothic career is his invention, a device called The Deliverance Machine. I shit you not, Nitschke created what is essentially a killer computer and he called it The Deliverance Machine. Until today, I thought that only fictional villains gave their unambiguously evil technology dramatic names filled with dread.
Amount of Time Likely to be Wasted: Peaceful Pill is a rather extensive site, and while it's not the prettiest little hate machine on the block, it's not eye-searing. With video links and all of the double-takes you're bound to do, I'd give this one a solid hour.
Likelihood to Result in Arrest in Real Life: Almost certain. Peaceful Pill has already been blacklisted by the Australian government and it's only a matter of time before Nitschke and his friends (at least the ones who are still alive) are brought to task for teaching an untold number of not-terminally-ill-and-mentally-sound people how to off themselves. I'm so glad our governments are throwing the Pirate Bay guys in jail but the inventor of The Deliverance Machine walks free, and profits.
MCDR: Go watch this and then get some sunshine. Choose life.
Internet Depth by Preposition: This one is tough. On the one hand, it's trying to effect the outside world and make its creator money. On the other hand, only the Internet could house something this wild. I'm gonna go for On leaning toward In.
