Craigslist provides no real guidance to its users. The instructions and warnings posted on the site only imply the true nature of what actually happens there. They advise you to avoid having unprotected sex with strangers but they say nothing about the frightening, becondomed people you're likely to meet in the Personals section. They tell you that nobody actually mails whole automobiles and that nobody honest has used a personal wire transfer for decades, though there's nothing on the site about the inevitable scent of piss one will find in much of the For Sale section's goods. When I look at a lot of the posts that show up on craigslist, especially those in Community, I can't help but see them as doe-eyed innocents walking into a place they don't know is horrible.

Watersport buddies

Al l this sun and hot weather makes me want to engage in some fun water sports, and I’d love to have a buddy to do them with. I’m particularly interested in paddle boarding, kayaking, canoeing, wakeboarding, or…even splashing around at a nearby watering hole. I’m athletic, but by no means an expert at any of said water activities. I’m mostly just looking to make a new friend while finding fun ways to cool off during this heatwave. About me: mid-20s, female, open to male or female buddy, preferably around my age. Any takers?

Oh, you poor, poor girl. You clearly have no conception of what you've done to yourself. You have advertised yourself as a young woman who wants to engage in water sports with girls or boys, it doesn't matter. Now, judging by your misuse of the term "watering hole", which means either a place where animals drink or a euphemism for a bar, I'd say that you're the type of person who just doesn't know when you're using a word incorrectly. The watering hole thing isn't going to get you into any trouble, but using the term "water sports" on the Internet is asking for a lot of unpleasantness. We know you just want to hop in a paddle boat and be a decent person but the creeps are another story altogether.

HELP ME FIGHT THE NWO!

HELP ME FIGHT THE NWO BY KEEPING ACTIVE TABS ON CURRENT WORLD EVENTS, POLITICS, ECONOMY, AND SO ON.I KNOW THERE ARE MILLIONS OF SUPPORTERS OUT THERE, WHO ARE NOW BECOMING AWARE OF HOW OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS ARE BEING CHIPPED AWAY MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY! ITS TIME WE FIND EACHOTHER AND DO MORE THAN AKNOWLEDGE HOW OUR LIBERTY AND FREEDOMS ARE NOT JUST BEING COMLPROMISED BY THESE UNCONSTITUTIONAL ACTS OF CONGRESS AND ELITE POWER HOLDING FEW WHO ARE REALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SCHEME TO GLOBALIZE ALLNATIONS UNDER ONE NEW WORLD ORDER, WE RISK VERY SOON HERE IN THE NEAR FUTURE, A POINT OF NO RETURN , WE NEED TO NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN AND MAYBE IF EVEN TWO OF US PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER, MAYBE WELL MAKE MORE PROGRESS THAN WE WOULD HAVE, HAD WE BEEN ONE SOLITARY VOICE.. MY NAME IS HAVEN, IM ALSO AN ARTIST , ACTIVIST, PHOTOGRAPHER , RECORD KEEPER OF THIS PERILOUS TIME IN OUR PLANETS HISTORY, WRITTER, PHILOSOPHER, AND A FIRM BELIEVER WE ALL NEED TO DO MORE AND BE PREPARING FOR EVENTS THAT ARE SOON TO COME, IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN ME IN MY RESEARCH, MEET SOMEONE ELSE WHO BELIEVES IN AS MUCH CRAZY CRAP AS YOU DO, EXPLORE CONSPIRACY THEORIES WITH, AND SO ON, PLEASE EMAIL TODAY! ANY TIME! THIS STUFF IS MY ENTIRE LIFE AND IM DYING TO FIND COMPANIONSHIP IN MY QUEST.

I was going to include just a small selection from this post but the whole thing is so wonderful that I just couldn't abridge it. It's an all-caps post from a conspiracy nut who calls himself "Haven" and it grows more desperate the closer it gets to the end. This is the quintessential crazy person post and I wanted to preserve it long after its time on craigslist expires. As always, the most enjoyable part of this post is the thought that Haven might actually get the attention of a few of the other crazies on the List. I marvel at the idea of a room full of people like this compounding their insanity together like some kind of schizophrenic potluck.

asdf

asdf

This right here is either a very bored person at work or the single most clever Community post in history. It's probably the former but I'd also like to entertain the fantasy that "asdf" is the craigslist equivalent of fly fishing. With minimal effort and no real content, this poster has cast out a line of communication. It's most likely to grab the attention of worthless people, idiots or perhaps no one at all, though there's an outside chance that somebody smart and interesting will respond. While the first two of today's posts were from people who don't truly understand craigslist, I believe the poster of "asdf" might just be a master of the medium.