Holy Hell, it's almost frickin' Christmas! Normally I wouldn't be excited about this since, as our recent glut of anti-semitic conspiracy theorist commenters have been quick to point out, I'm part of the roughly 2% of the global population who celebrates Chanukah instead. But this year, oh this year, it seems my risky gambit has paid off. Around February I began a complicated scheme to sneak my name into Santa Claus's famous list, which is only slightly less well known than Craig's, so I could game the system and finally get some Christmas presents from that fat, Jew-hating bastard up in the North Pole. I won't say how I did it, only that it was a lot harder to hack the list so my name would stop shifting over to "Naughty" than it was to get my name on the list itself. It seems that Santa has delivered to me exactly what I wanted: A bunch of exemplary craigslist posts.

community starts with "you"
Every One,
We all have to realize. We have been tricked. We have been treated as cancer patients. Treatment has been chemo. We don’t have cancer. We were perfectly healthy our “White” blood cell count is now low. We can beat this. We have been misdiagnosed. If you want we can fight and live. Come together and strengthen the body so we can be healthy once again. Make a commitment, take a stand;
If you want to take a stand, go to your city park, every Saturday morning. Meet people in your community that care about truth as you do. Become friends. The park will be our place. We will meet like minded people. We will communicate about ideas that will create the new future. We will find our voice again. We will seek the truth. We will heal once again. Awareness will abound. It will take time. Foundations do.

First, wrapped up in a squirming little package with a big, red bow is this delightfully nonsensical crazy person post. If I were to guess I'd say that it's a pitch for some fringe non-denominational Christian group, but the beauty of it is that I can't say for certain what any of this is supposed to mean. It could be some random head case, maybe a delirious invalid who somehow navigated the hoops and bot obstacles of making a craigslist post despite having approximately zero critical thinking skills. All I know is that this is a beautiful collection of ramblings that get my "White" blood cells zipping through my "Veins" like a bunch of "Racecars".

Tired of the Metaphysical Flakes?
Do you like reading books about life and truths about the universe, without the metaphysical mumbo-jumbo or the flaky/snickering people?
Do you think that you possess untapped potentials that you would like to develop?
Have you ever had "spiritual" experiences before?
Does the movie "The Matrix" touch you in an unexplained way?
Do you understand that there's more to life than materialism and mechanism?
Join our group. We have classes, speakers, books, and friendly people.

Ooh, look! Santa remembered how much I like posts that are comically oblivious to their own hypocrisy! Man, that guy really covers all the bases, doesn't he? This one is a solid trifecta. It not only posits the idea that books about "life and truths about the universe" aren't inherently products of metaphysical mumbo-jumbo, it also references a science fiction movie intended for teenage boys as a meaningful existential experience and it wraps it all up in the promise that a bunch of people will get together and actually believe this stuff at the same time! Gosh, I feel like some kid in a Thomas Kinkade painting discovering that shiny toy firetruck under an impossibly perfect Christmas tree while my cheeks flush to the point that makes me look like I have a deadly fever of Christmas cheer.

Im looking for patner

Hi I m looking for partner help m for learn more english and practice , if you need learn more spanish and practice let m know m name is manuel Im borne in mexico city honest , friendly this post is true plz dont wast m time thanks ... gracias

Squee! Look what Santa left in my stocking! He could have just tossed in another one of those chocolate orange candies or some crappy dollar store toy, but instead he found an adorable foreign guy post that struggles in hopeless earnestness to command the language it can't help but destroy. Oh, Santa, you got m just what I wanted!

Wow, it's been a pretty magical Christmas here at Net Insanity. Have a happy holiday, everybody. And who knows? Maybe if you've been good little boys and girls, Santa will leave you a ridiculous Youtube video under the tree on Friday morning.