Craigslist Files #35: CRAZZY RANDOM FUNNNN!!!! Edition

a composite image of manliness

Horrible, filth-eating insects won't lay their eggs just anywhere. They need to find a place that is reasonably safe and will nourish their offspring on the day they hatch. Craigslist is a lot like a nesting spot, only instead of being a haven for arthropod pests it's the dank corner of the Internet where bad ideas go to flourish. Out in the harsh light of reality, no one, not even socially maladjusted idiots, think such ridiculous plans will actually work out for the best. But on craigslist, everything seems possible to a particular subset of humanity.

A Circle of Men

A Circle of Men is a group focused on understanding themselves and their role in the world!
We gather to create a space where men may voice their thoughts and ask any questions that will help them along their path.
At each meeting, we will explore different techniques to become better focused and more present in that person that we wish to be!
This circle is open to men who are interested in discovering their role in the world around them!

In A Circle of Vague we vague with other men who seek to vague and explore different ways to vague through vaguey vague vague double-vague. Ya know, I can't tell if this is some kind of hippie drum circle nonsense or the world's worst self-help seminar pitch. I struggle to even define this post as an "idea". It's like imagining a loaf of bread, a bag labeled "meat" and an unmarked spice rack, then calling that collection of images a "recipe". And anyway, there's only one place for men to get together and discover their place in the world: A plush lounge filled with single malt scotch and anachronistic straight-razor barbers.

Grab bag job with zany intellectual with a physical disability

Expect the unexpected with this rewarding job doing a wide variety of physical tasks for a woman with a disability that severely affects her coordination and not her far-out but well grounded mind.
She loves her work, painting, cats, traveling, and chocolate. She views herself as very able, so she lives a typical life with spontaneity, determination, individuality, and a sense of humor.
Evenings and weekends available now. Possibly day time hours in future. $12.25 per hour. Call (phone number) today before this opportunity goes away!

I want to make it clear that I chose this post not because I want to make fun of a disabled person, though it is every boy's dream, but because there is nothing more annoying than a person who self-defines as "zany". No, all people, without exception, who refer to themselves as "far-out" or "random" or "spontaneous" instantly reveal themselves to be none of those things. Rather, these terms are preambles to irritating, childish behavior and an endless stream of Monty Python quotes. Sure, making a stupidly low-paying caregiver job sound fun may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but the outcome is a post that makes its readers hate disabled people. An accomplishment in itself, I suppose.

swm on unemployment and borrrrrrrred - m4w - 35

I have a part time job plus my unemployment checks and
LOTS and LOTS of time on my hands. Looking for friends
and activity partners and LOTS and LOTS of sex if we hit it
off, just platonic stuff if we don't. heh, w/b!~!!!!!

LOL

Finally, a craigslist poster has tapped into the fantasy shared by all girls since they were small children pretending to be princesses. What woman doesn't still secretly harbor the child-like desire of being swept away by a middle-aged drain on society who wants to order sex the same way he orders pizza? And the way he ends all of his correspondences with an increasingly nonsensical stream of net-speak? Swoon! I know this is the time of year when all the pot festivals happen around the country, but the above post really is a new pinnacle of delusional laziness.