I really want to believe that the Internet can be used for noble purposes. I want to believe it helps police catch more criminals than it creates, that it can balance out the ratio of idiots it indulges with at least a token population of people it properly educates. I want to believe that the Internet is responsible for both the end of the Republican party and the collapse of Ron Paul's presidential campaign. In the case of this week's Craigslist Files, I want to believe that the Internet is capable of bringing people together for positive social interactions. So, while I fully intend to mock the following posts from the Groups page, I'm also going to try to envision a scenario in which the post results in something good.

(city) nightlife group

So I'm starting a myspace about (city) night life. I have been to so many clubs around the world, and now I'm in (city) and the night life sucks. I was seating at a club tonight and there was a good amount of people. But if all us night life people planed on going to the same club, we could have a lot more fun. So this web page is for all of you, I want you to know what is going on in (city). If you are out at a club and it sucks, let me know! If you guys find some place cool to go on a Sunday night, I want to know! If the door man is a asshole, I want to know about it. And if you own or run a club i want to know what is going on at your club, e-mail me.

First things first, it's called Yelp, fella. The only people who use Myspace anymore are bands promoting their music and crazy people promoting the voices they hear in their heads. Also, I'm never going to understand the tendency of craigslist posters to veil their intentions. Is it compulsive lying? Are these people so insecure that they need to add an extra layer of defense on top of complete anonymity and text-only interactions? This guy has obviously just figured out that going to a nightclub alone is really, really depressing and now he wants some friends. Fair enough. I genuinely hope this poster finds a group of like-minded individuals to join him on a series of wild, club-hopping adventures around his city. The result totally wouldn't be an unstoppable avalanche of douchebag.

Looking to start a Transformers collectors group in the (city) area

Looking for people who are looking to start A Transformers meetup group. I think it would be fun for collectors or just fans of Transformers in general to meetup and just geek out with Transformers. It's a good way to meet friends and share this wonderful fandom with others who love it as much as you do.

I'm hesitant to ream wanton geekiness. However childish and inane their obsessions, geeks are mostly gentle creatures who never did harm to anyone but themselves. Still, I can't imagine much good would come from a bunch of adults getting together to share their rad action figures/impractically jagged vehicles. If life was an independently produced web series, the Transformers Collectors Group would be an endearing comedy starring Felicia Day and some under-appreciated character actor from a sitcom. It would be nice to live in a world where cute, smart, funny people who played with kids' toys could get together and not collapse under the weight of so many crippling neuroses.

Want to talk to Post Trib Land Owner

I'm looking to talk to a Christian Post Trib believing "land owner" in (list of counties).
I own land at (place), but looking for larger piece of land for a purpose.

I had to think about this one for a minute because I've only heard the term "Trib" in one context and it certainly isn't church-friendly. You kids have the Internet, go look it up for yourself (but not at work). Since the gentleman in this post probably isn't looking for a spent-but-satisfied lesbian, I assume he's talking about the Tribulation, the period of anti-Christian persecution that's supposed to come just prior to the apocalypse. Apparently there are people who believe we're living in that time and, like this poster, have been stockpiling land and other resources in preparation for the End. While I'm more than a little unsettled by the phrase "looking for a larger piece of land for a purpose" I'm willing to give this one the benefit of the doubt and call it harmless. Best case scenario, two crazy fundies exile themselves to a tract of undeveloped land and never bother anyone again.