The Internet is often touted for its focus on the future, but that's only half of the story. For every neat-o, sci-fi advance the Net makes possible, like video chat and instant-access encyclopedias, there is at least one element of the past rescued by technology to live long past its fated end. While there may be some cultural value to preserving the pre-Jeopardy career of Alex Trebek, I just can't say the same for the Internet-supported longevity of The Insane Clown Posse and the Juggalo trend they started. ICP and all they represent rightly should have ceased to exist by the end of the 90's yet that nonsensical fashion keeps on shambling through the halls of American society. Just a quick jaunt through your preferred search engine will turn up a disturbing variety of Juggalo-related results, including today's hub of awfulness, Juggalo Games.

From what I can tell, Juggalo Games was designed and may still be occasionally maintained by a harmlessly angry teenager named Dean Sinnbeck who once had the misfortune of developing a bond with the music of The Insane Clown Posse during his impressionable years. Little Deany decided to express his love for ICP and his non-specific hatred for "society" by designing some of the worst browser games I've ever had the displeasure of playing. Two of his games are on the official Juggalo Games website, both occupying a single page. Juggalo Pong is a re-skin of the classic tennis simulator, only its lazy coding makes it literally impossible to score even a single point. The computer-controlled paddle moves exactly in time with the ball, represented here by a severed human head, right down to most minuscule shift. You can no more score a point in this game than you can outmaneuver your own reflection.

The other "game" is maybe or maybe not titled Mutha Facku and is a Frogger clone, except that it forgets to actually have a point. Players guide the official ICP/Juggalo symbol across a busy street to cross a TOTALLY TWIZTID RIVER OF BLOOD!!! and reach a goal at which point nothing happens. Guide your little dude back to the start and... nope, nada. Sorry, Dean-O. That's not a game, that's a crappy interactive animation with no point.

Aside from producing embarrassingly bad games, Dean and his buddies put together some other completely superfluous sites like the tween-tastic Juggalo Terror Network and link out to stuff like the wildly incongruous Juggalo Faith website. I know that Christian missionaries attempt to co-op every little bit of pop culture that they can in a desperate scramble for youth involvement, but I still struggle to connect the glorification of hatchet-wielding hick rappers and what may very well be the source of all lameness in the world. Or maybe I just answered my own question.

Amount of Time Likely to be Wasted: WHAT U HATERZ AINT GOT TIME TO ROLL WIT THA ICP AND ALL THE LO'S AND LETTE'S WIT DEY HATCHETS HELD HIGH?!?!?!

Likelihood to Result in Arrest in Real Life: Unless you count the occasional kid getting picked up by beat cops for spray painting walls, I'd say this stuff isn't dangerous, just dangerously stupid.

MCDR: Good rap exists. Go find some.

Internet Depth by Preposition: In. Juggalo fandom comes from a pre-Internet source (ICP) but would only manifest in the ways it does by mixing with Internet conventions.