Craigslist Files #19

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It occurs to me that creating a craigslist post is roughly akin to shouting into the long night of winter in a desert. Compile your strangest, most objectionable or just plain embarrassing desires and stick them on the Internet for any curious or mocking parties to see; that's the concept at the foundation of this website. Craigslist is the perfect storm of Internet ridiculousness. Anonymity, lack of moderation or editing, vague and flexible categories. Add video and it would be a one-stop address for unwitting humiliation. All of the following individuals actually believed they would connect with others like them. For their own lonely sakes, I almost hope they succeeded.


Creative writing, or co-producer partnership opportunity

 Ideally you will be a young beautiful lady both inside and either a creative type person or a nurse or a nursing or social work student.I am a gentlemen that is putting together putting together a combination book R rated movie project revolving around nursing and the medical profession.I am a gentlemen and work out of my office at home. I am looking to develop a combination book and film project that deals with emotional issues revolving around nursing and care giving.We will be working together to test out ideas and concepts on an interactive and intimate basis with full nudity and sensuality.It's a project that will take a few months and we can work around each others schedule.The lady chosen will have a nice piece of the revenues from the book and film and if so desired, a film credit such as co-author or co-producer, etc. as well as perhaps an opportunity to actually be in the film that comes about from the research and creative development.Send a private email with photos and a phone number and I will call you to schedule a private interview. Your confidentiality will be respected.

A long time ago, in some cave at the southern tip of Europe where the glaciers hadn't reached, a stinking, hairy archaic man used a paste comprised of berries and feces to paint a crude picture depicting a complex legend involving a male hero and the woman he rescued from a rampaging mammoth. By fire light while the rest of the proto-tribe slept, he led his object of affection into the cave where the painting dried on the wall and he informed her of the inspiration she brought to his spirit which burned with the intensity of the bonfires that scared the tigers from the exposed camp and yet retained the gentleness of the silver stars in the distance which glimmered so mysteriously. With crude grunts and guttural hacks he expressed his passion for such a hypothetical muse and in the faint flicker of his thick-branch torch the two of them engaged in the last ecstasy any of our weak species comes to know. From that point on, the recipients of a mutated chromosome that forces our cloaca to distend and engorge with blood have mimicked this ritual in increasingly complex rituals. Each encounter has ended the same: "Don't worry, baby. I won't tell anyone."

 

Looking for other Immortals


Looking for someone who truly understands that physical immortality is real and death is only a bad habit which needs to be unlearned. For an immortal the most important thing is to find other immortals to hang out with, because so-called normal people cause too much emotional and energetic pollution and damage because of their ignorance, their programming, their negativity and unconscious neurotic behavior.

 

Vampire Community

Hello,

I am looking to get connected with the vampire communities of Seattle. I am ideally sanguine... this being so, because I have yet to actually partake of any blood, but am willing to try within a SAFE and controlled environment. I will be turning 22 this July, so meeting up in a bar/club will be just fine. If you view yourself to be an immortal, claiming to be hundreds of years old and drink blood by the glassful, then I am not interested in meeting you. If you view yourself to be a living vampire, with the understanding that vampirism is a state of mind and being, and not a fashion statement, then we may just be brethren.

-        Vincent


Same day, different sections, similar posts. It's a good thing neither of them are looking for those fake LARPers who never stopped thinking like bored thirteen-year-olds. If there's one thing I find appealing, it's college-age kids who just can't get the same rush out of their white foundation and ankh necklaces as they used to. Seriously, when is this goth thing going to end? It's like somebody in 1985 making a personals ad about hanging out in leisure suits and boogie-ing until the sun comes up. News flash, you overgrown children: It's not 1999 anymore. The fad is over. Please, for the sake of all that is dignified, give up the fashion already.

 

Join W.A.R.

 Let's not give them another chance for a Twin Towers...STOP them now ...join W.A.R. ( Whites Against Ragheads.) if you flag this you will be sending a message that it's ok to do terror on the US ...DON'T BE A SISSY stand up and protect our country as I did and as all of our fore fathers have.


Ya know, I'm surprised there aren't more overt racists on craigslist. It's basically the perfect place for these porta-potty-scented bastards. I hope the US military screens for bigots now that we've got one of them thar coloreds in the Oval Office. *Special note: MS Word doesn't seem to think that "coloreds" is a misspelling. Let's just hope Bill Gates reads crappy humor blogs.* It's more than a little disconcerting that I live in a blue state and this post wasn't flagged by the time I got to it, but whatever, it's basically rural east of the Cascades anyway. America sure is great, ain't it folks?