Beautiful Cervix is the Title of a Real Website

If growing up in a politically-correct society has taught me anything, it's that females are all hyper-sensitive sacks of aloe-moisturized emotions who only understand themselves through the filter of product advertisements and children's toys. As a result, an small but intrepid contingent of misandronistic lesbians called "feminists" have taken it upon themselves to undo the damage done to their chromosomal peers by evil, evil penises and the people attached to them. Central to this battle is the mission to convince women that their girl-parts aren't ugly just because Barbie doesn't have them.

Yes, despite the fact that the vast majority of males spend the better part of their lives attempting to interact with them in excessively intimate ways, many women still believe that their vaginae are embarrassing and repulsive. Since a lifetime of males' wanton groping and obsessive fixation can't convince them otherwise, women have taken such rational measures to explore the awesomeness of their lower bits as writing plays about them and allowing Oprah to give them stupid, infantalizing nicknames.

But why stop with just the most external elements? Spending all of this genital-reclamation energy on the vagina alone is like going to the Louvre and never leaving the foyer. Thankfully, an anonymous medical professional specializing in the arts of the doula and midwife has taken it upon herself (and her boyfriend) to delve into the world of female reproduction's unsung heroine, the cervix.

Beautiful Cervix is an introductory science project the unnamed author of the site began earlier this year to give a frank, informative lesson to others concerning the internal workings of a healthy woman over the course of an entire month. She diligently took a high-res picture of her own cervix every single day for 33 straight days. Using nothing but a plastic speculum, a digital camera with a macro setting and a progressively-minded boyfriend, she managed to get an image from the exact same angle and of the exact same quality for more than a month straight. If you've ever been interested in what goes on inside a woman over the course of a month and you're grown up enough to not run from the room screaming, "icky icky cooties!" it's a pretty interesting endeavor.

As a bonus, BC's creator even shows us what the cervical cavity looks like after unprotected sex in a special before-and-after series. Her language throughout the site is what really sets this entity apart from the usual craziness of the Internet. She's obviously lucid and scientifically-minded, not some weirdo who just couldn't help but show the world her fascinating insides. The main page is dotted with delightfully concise phrases like "Cervical fluid is creamy" and the site as a whole manages to straddle that line between clinical aloofness and pink empowerment.

I'm proud to announce that Beautiful Cervix is the first site to ever receive Net Insanity's AK Smile Seal of Approval. This would be a good time to explain how one qualifies for this award. There are three basic criteria:

1. Any site up for consideration must first attain an Internet Depth by Preposition equal to In or Of. There are plenty of websites that are entertaining, informative or otherwise useful that aren't really unique to the Internet. I'm not about to give the AKS Seal of Approval to a myspace page or the promotional site for a good movie.
2. Most of the things I cover on Net Insanity come from the worst parts of the Web. They are useless detriments to society. To qualify for the AKS SoA, a site or other element of the Internet must be entertaining, informative or otherwise useful. This award is meant to highlight those sites that use the Internet for good instead of flooding servers with horrid detritus.
3. The site or element granted the award must be independent and unique. Large, well-known sites will not be considered, nor will broad-topic elements and utilities. I love the fact that Dictionary.com does its thing, but it's just too big and broad to qualify.

All that said, my congratulations goes out to Beautiful Cervix. It's educational, has a decent layout and its author is the polar opposite of an annoying moron. Hopefully the world will follow her example and expand the scope of female reproductive photography. Sure, there are literally trillions of images exposing the details of the most external parts, few of them in a well-described, educational manner, but there's plenty that's left to explore. May the future be filled with high-res images of fallopian tubes and ovaries, preferably with captions likening the texture of their various discharges to different kinds of food.