SANDRA***EROTIC***MASSAGE  

SANDRA IS WAITING ON YOUR FUN SO COME AND PLAY WITH ME (number removed) • ?o°•=||=SEXY HOT SEDUCTIVE=||=•°o ?SANDRA> Hh Massage 120licks---------Fh Massage 220kissses----

For various reasons, I can't include Ms. SANDRA's pictures in this update, but I can and will describe them to you now. SANDRA is what we in polite society refer to as ginormous. Her pictures all feature her in a different ridiculous costume and wig. The first is a pale green cave girl outfit that appears to be made of felt and does nothing to hide her horrible breast-centered tattoos. This is made complete by a sleek Farrah Fawcett hairpiece. Following that is SANDRA fit head-to-toe in studded pleather and topped with a hot pink bubblegum wig. #3 is a leopard print unitard of insufficient material, then a series of dead-eyed photos in the pleather outfit whilst kneeling next to a small fish tank. Take her away, Sheriff Dart. Please.

--[PASSIONTE--&--TRUE]

Serious callers only.........Meet Dee Dee,..A Spicy brunette looking for a gentlemen to charm!!!I know you wish your favorite centerfold would jump out of the pages of a men's magazine, ..."BUT"..., I've come to fulfill your needs!!!

That's not Dee Dee's entire post, but once you've seen one hooker "menu" you've seen them all. The beauty of this ad is its subtle honesty. You must understand, Dee Dee is not a traditionally attractive woman. She looks like a 45-year-old middle school teacher. She may, in fact, be a 45-year-old middle school teacher. She's right that most men fantasize about encounters with uncommonly beautiful models. That "BUT" is there for a reason. This ad is a reminder that you're cruising for hookers on craigslist. Your fantasy woman is nowhere even near this place. Instead, you've got study hall with Dee Dee. And she costs 150 dollars for a half hour. Welcome to Hell.  

•?•======(( LAST ))======•?•======(( DAY ))======•?• - w4m - 21 ([ IN & OUT ] ? JOLIET ?

I couldn't copy and paste this ad if I wanted to. It's amazing, though. Samantha's post is the craigslist hooker equivalent of a 12-year-old's pony dedication angelfire page from 1996. It is nothing but table breaks, glittering clip art and animated GIFs. The fact that Samantha is just old enough to have actually built such a website in her more innocent years only makes this more funny/depressing. It'd be a veritable laugh riot if the ad weren't also littered with pictures of Samantha in various states of undress and intoxication.  

~~I'm ready! I'm willing! Expecting Cutie!!~ Massage SPECIALS!~

I'm ready...I'm willing...I'm sexy…I'm all yours…I may look innocent but I'm naughty and love to have a good time. I have a great personality and love to make people laugh. I am playful and sexy, yet down to Earth and compassionate. I am 8 Months Pregant. Lactacting.

Jamie, FTW. I am so glad she loves to make people laugh, because I'm having a hard time even typing this. I'd love to know exactly what Jamie considers the look of innocence. She has pictures of her very pregnant belly posted in her ad. Unless she's about to pop that sucker out in an Israeli manger, I'd say she's as far from innocent as one can possibly get. All the same, I may have to hop a last minute flight to Chicago. Nothing gets my motor running like a woman who's Pregant and Lactacting.