Stars of the Internet: Australian MPD Case

I have a dilemma. No, this time it has nothing to do with those handicapped kids I allegedly robbed on Earth Day. This one is Internet-related. That is, it's more of a dilemma than the general discomfort of having to deal with this technology's crap several times a week. What do we do with Internet people who toe the line of competence yet remain so, so annoying? Thus is the case of one vlogger called communitychannel.

CC occupies what I can only imagine is the Australian equivalent of the Valley Girl. She makes extensively scripted videos of herself riffing on whatever topic happens to have caught her ire/interest. I know, this could describe any one of a thousand lousy bloggers on youtube alone, but that's not all there is to this unusually attractive denizen of the Internet.

For you see, this particular Asian-descended Aussie doesn't just talk to herself, she talks with herself. CC constructs her youtube vids as dramatic re-enactments of the topic at hand. In this particularly riveting episode, she has a two, possibly three-way debate with herself about the validity of speculating on which celebrities one would and would not date.

Now, I'm not one to attack a gimmick just for being a gimmick. In fact, CC's approach just might work if she had the ability to self-edit. Were she to enlist others in her little slice-of-life plays, they would come off as nothing but sub-amateur theatre thrust onto the public via grainy digital video. By keeping this a one-woman show, it at least takes the effort of a costume change.

I'm especially torn by this gem. CC responds to some commenters' claims that her previously reported nausea was the result of an unknown pregnancy by scripting an ultrasound-related fantasy. It's still pretty lame, but there are two redeeming factors here. First (I'll get this one out of the way), she's a cute girl lifting her shirt to just below her breasts. I know, it's the Internet, naked people abound. But there's a rule of being male: I know I can see nakedness pretty much whenever I want, but right now I want to see a very specific kind of nakedness, namely, hers. The other reason the ultrasound video is so nearly good is that the joke in it would actually be pretty funny in the hands of professional comics.

Like most Internet amateur entertainers, CC's problem is that she has no sense of timing or cinematography. A bit that, by rights, shouldn't go on for more than 15 seconds stretches on for an interminable three minutes. Maybe given some time, a good director and a bigger budget, CC might actually be a decent performer.

Amount of Time Likely to be Wasted: CC's Fake Abs video is one minute, thirty-nine seconds long. By my calculations, that means the average Internet surfer will spend ten hours watching CC do her thing with the marker, then another fifty hours a week watching her other videos to give some depth to his new imaginary wife.

Likelihood to Result in Arrest in Real Life: Without the Internet, CC would either be a community theatre regular or a street performer. In the case of the latter, it's possible she might get arrested for causing a public disturbance.

MCDR: If you're going to fantasize about an attractive Australian woman, go for the frickin' gold.

Internet Depth by Preposition: Teetering on Of's brink. CC is getting mighty popular, in vlogger terms. Right now, she's most certainly In, seeing as any and all of her notoriety is online. Still, there's the chance that she might ascend to meme status some time in the near future.